Our President and Science

I do not know where it came from originally, though I tried to find out, but I have discovered the discovery if Bushcronium! I learned of these momentous events because I am a regular reader of The West Virginia Blogger and Bucky was on the ball again. This is the gist of the science news of the day:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Bushcronium.” The symbol for Bushcronium is “W”.

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Bushcronium’s mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity or concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

This discovery gives me hope that there is some scientific logic behind the rape of the Constitution, the idiotic Wars on Terrorism and in Iraq, and the blundering domestic and foreign policy decisions that have highlighted (lowlighted?) the presidency of George W. Bush. Could it be that it has all been a scientific experiment run amok? And all this time I thought it was just a cruel, cruel hoax!

It might even be an experiment in the area of Evolution! It would, of course, be in the Political Division of Evolution, and would have to be an experiment to confirm that total inadequacy for the task at hand will not even be allowed in the evolution of politics. I mean, after all, this has been the worst seven years or so of “leadership” in the history of our country, an area of study already rife with pigheadedness and greed. If the Theory of Evolution is correct, even in the sty of politics, the absolutely awful performance of Little George must be selected against, never to be repeated.

The experiment was, of course, scheduled to run for four years. However, the subject of the experiment proved so contagious and toxic that he was able to simply steal another election victory away from the rightful winner, and therefore get the experiment extended for another four years. During that extra four years, George W. Bush has been able to convince all but the most moronic of Americans that he and his were too inept to continue to lead the American political system.

The end of the experiment will come with the elections of 2008, at which time the rascals shall be well and truly thrown out, thereby allowing America to continue on a less suicidal course. We may even be able to get the Republic reinstated!


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